..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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