I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
