when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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