He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
