What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
