absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
