i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize