My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize