dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
false alarm, still single
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
