do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
the raccoons are back...
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