And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize