Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
