so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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