i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
