whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
