That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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