a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
How does it feel to date your dad?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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