having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
