found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
