my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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