I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
