pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
