Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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