I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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