i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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