my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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