In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
