All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
