What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
