He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
