I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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