READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
