I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
