well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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