And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
