yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
