You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
