how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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