Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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