Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
ttyl tear gas
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
