We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
