i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize