I think my vagina is haunted
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
