hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
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