Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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