Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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