I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
operation have a gay friend backfired
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
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He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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