I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
The adults are the big ones right?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
