I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
