i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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