my vag is so smooth its legendary
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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