she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
