Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
