He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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