someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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