make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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