covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
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