I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
