There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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