"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
