yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
