i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
