Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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