You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize