I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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