So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
