Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
